SSM Health Good Samaritan Hospital - Mt. Vernon issued the following announcement on Oct. 15.
One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, and one out of every 100 pregnancies at 20 weeks gestation or later will end in stillbirth. Odds are, you know someone who has experienced a loss – although you may not realize it, because many families experience this pain in silence.
At SSM Health, we believe in the healing power of presence, and we know how much of a difference the support of a friend or loved one can make during times of grief. But when it comes to the loss of a child, it may be difficult to know what to say or do. The tips below can help you better support a loved one who has experienced a loss:
Keep your words simple and supportive. Avoid clichés or attempts to make sense of the loss. Instead, simply say: "I'm so sorry;" "I'm here for you if you need to talk;" or "I'm thinking of you."
Listen. Just listen. Allow them to express whatever they are feeling without judgement. Cry together. Let them share the details of their child's story, if they are ready. If the pain is too fresh, let them know you'll be there whenever they're ready to talk.
Call the baby by his or her name. Using the baby's name acknowledges and validates his or her existence, and can help a grieving parent on the path to healing.
Bring a meal. Food is often the last priority during a time of grief. Stock the fridge or freezer, or send a gift card for take-out.
Give them something in memory of their little one. A tree, a candle, a wind chime, an ornament, a piece of jewelry with the baby's birthstone or initial – it doesn't have to be much, but giving something provides a tangible way to remember and honor their baby.
Don't forget about dad. We most often think about the mother, but he's grieving too.
Think twice before asking questions about family planning. It may seem like casual small talk to ask a friend when she is going to give her child a sibling, but those words can cause great pain for someone grieving a loss in silence.
Participate in the Wave of Light on Oct. 15. In remembrance of babies gone too soon, join in an international candle lighting that travels around the globe by lighting a candle at 7 pm local time.
Keep checking in. Remember important dates – the baby's expected due date, the anniversary of the loss, the first holiday season without their child – and be aware that these may be very painful times. Send a card, ask how they are feeling, and let them know their baby has not been forgotten.
Grief support and resources are available through Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support.
Original source can be found here.
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